Not His Sister
by Emera-Rene
Summary: He's touching her and it's different to all his previous touches. He's not ruffling her hair and telling her to quit being annoying. He's not calling her names and he's not teasing her for her long legs and golden ringlets. L/P AU


She's three years old when he first meets her. He's eleven. She's round for a play date with his little sister. She's got great big green eyes and curly blonde locks but he's eleven and he doesn't care.

It's not the last he sees of her though. She quickly becomes best friends with his kid sister and their Mother's do too. She's always around and even at three she becomes his number one fan.

They torture him. They take over his room and paint pink stuff on his fingernails and clip sparkly stuff in his hair. He doesn't complain. He sits obediently and endures their games because they're happy and those toothy grins have a hold over him.

Things change shortly after she turns six. There's an accident. Larry and Anna Sawyer are killed in a car crash.

The Scott's are the closest thing to family. She snuggles into a fourteen year old Lucas's lap and sobs into his shoulder. He tells her he'll always be there to look after her, he promises her she's safe and that everything's going to be okay.

Karen and Keith officially adopt her before she's seven.

She gets her own room in their house. It's her house now too. She's Peyton Sawyer Scott from there on in.

Peyton Sawyer Scott spends the remainder of her childhood with her best friend; Lily Rose Scott. They're partners in crime. They continue to do everything together.

Lucas lets them come down to the river court. They play on the bleachers wearing tutu's and pink ballet slippers while he plays basket ball with his friends.

He teases them. Lily is short and graceful and Peyton's legs are too long for her little body. Balancing isn't her strong point. She's his Bambi.

He gets a girlfriend.

Brooke Davis.

Lily and Peyton don't like Brooke Davis. When she's round they can't go in his room. It's a new rule. One that they don't like to abide by.

One day they race in and the teenagers are kissing. Both nine year old's scrunch their faces up in disgust. He yells at them to get out. He's never yelled at them like that before. Peyton stays on the other side of the door when he slams it in their faces. She hears him apologise for his annoying kid sisters. She hears him tell Brooke Davis that she's his pretty girl and that she's the most important person in his life and that he can't wait until they leave for college together.

Peyton doesn't want to be his Bambi any more, she wants to be his pretty girl. She wants to be the most important person in his life.

She doesn't speak to him for three solid weeks and he doesn't know why.

It's the day before he goes to college and he goes into her room.

She ignores him and continues to colour.

'Bambi, come on. I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm not going to see you for a while.' He sits on her bed. 'Why're you mad at me?'

She's drawing her favourite people. Karen and Keith are standing either side of her and Lily. Her Mum and Dad are angels in the sky. It's her perfect little family but it's missing one person.

'Where am I?' He quizzes.

'You're at college' She spits. 'You're with _her'_

He's surprised by the jealousy seething from her little mouth. 'Bambi I'm still going to see you' He appeases.

'You don't want to. You can't wait to get away from me. I'm not important' She huffs.

'Wherever did you get that idea?' He kneels on the floor and brushes her hair behind her ears. 'You and Lily and Mum and Keith, you're the very most important people to me and always will be'

'No we're not. _Brooke is'_ She avoids his eyes.

He smiles and shakes his head. 'Brooke's just a girl Peyton. We're just friends now'

'She's not your girlfriend no more?'

'No' He taps her nose affectionately. 'Listen, I might not be around as much and I might have other girls in my life but you're my family. You'll always be most important' He kisses her forehead.

'Promise?'

'Promise'

He goes to college. He comes back every Summer and Christmas. Sometimes by himself, sometimes he brings a girl but Peyton knows she's more important now. She knows that the girls come and go but she'll always be number one and he tells her so frequently just incase she forgets.

He surprises them all and comes back one day. It's their graduation. Only Lily isn't a kid any more. Nor is Peyton.

He walks into Tric. It's decked out with balloons and ribbons and filled with happy students, celebrating the end of their high school life.

It feels like only yesterday that he was here and now, now he's a working man. He's an adult, he's officially a grown up.

He greets his Mum and Keith first, they're so pleased to see him and their smiles make his horrendous journey worth while. They point out Lily. She's dancing with her boyfriend. He still can't get over the fact his baby sister has a boyfriend. He's met him twice now, he's quizzed the kid thoroughly and he's happy that she's picked one of the good guys.

'And Peyton's over there'

His eyes follow his mother's finger and he blinks because that's surely not her.

She looks different. He'd first began to note the change when he'd been back for Christmas. He'd found his eyes migrating to the sliver of skin between jeans and strap top, he'd found himself looking at parts of her body that he was sure had just appeared over night. She looks a hell of a lot different than she did just those five months ago even. She's not wearing polka dot pyjama's and sitting on the sofa with hot chocolate and a drawing pad. She's standing at the bar and she's wearing a tight green, strapless dress.

'Doesn't she look beautiful?' Karen crows proudly. She loves Peyton Sawyer Scott as she does her other two children. She worries more for the blonde beauty though, she worries because of the trauma and pain her adopted daughter's been through at such a young age, she worries because she's not Anna or Larry. She worries because Peyton puts on an act that she's tough but the truth is she's sensitive and shy.

Lucas nods dumbly. She is beautiful.

'A little too beautiful' Keith mumbles. He's not keen to see the number of boys trying to get her attention. Karen hits him lightly and kisses his cheek with a smile.

'She's fine. She's having fun. Go say hi to her Luke'

He doesn't have to though because she's looked over in their direction and she's staring at him with those great big green eyes. A wide grin plasters her face and then she's that funny six year old all over again and she's running across the dance floor and lurching herself at him.

'Luke!' Peyton squeals. She hugs him like she's always hugged him. Only she's not six year's old and she's not wearing a frilly ballerina outfit and he doesn't have to lift her off the ground.

She's still gangly but she's no longer gangly in an awkward kind of way. She's tall and her heels have her nearly matching his height. His arms go around her, he feels where her waist goes in. Her chest presses against him and he's reminded yet again that she's no longer a little kid. She's all grown up.

She looks up at him and she's smiling vibrantly. Her face has changed too. Her baby cheeks have gone and her cheek bones are pronounced and her curly hair isn't a tangled mess, it's clipped back and she looks elegant, she looks...sexy.

'Bambi, you're all grown up' He states with astonishment.

She smiles coyly and hits him lightly on the arm, because she thinks its about time he stops calling her that because as he said, she's all grown up. She's not his baby bambi any more.

'I'm so glad you came'

'Like I'd miss it for the world. You look beautiful'

A crimson blush creeps up her cheeks and it's unfamiliar. She's unfamiliar. He can't pinpoint when she changed but she has and he can't tear his eyes away.

When some boy comes and drags her to the dance floor an unexplainable anger bubbles in the pit of his belly.

He wants to dismember the poor kids body. He doesn't like the way his hands slide down her to her ass as they sway together. He doesn't like the way their heads are tilted toward each other and he sure as hell doesn't like the way they then proceed to make out.

He feels sick to the stomach and his heart is racing and while he's angry and disgusted, the only emotion he can fully comprehend is the debilitating jealousy that floods his senses.

Jealousy.

He can't stand to watch.

He just can't. So he makes a heady escape. He feeds his mother the plausible excuse that he's exhausted and then he leaves.

* * *

><p>It's graduation so of course there's some after, after party.<p>

Tonight's meant to be the night. She'd been determined to loose her virginity before college. Only as she's lying with Jake in some strangers room she finds herself backing out as always.

She wonders how he's so patient with her. She's been toying with him for the last six months and he's so sweet about it.

Tonight his frustration comes to a head. He doesn't back off when her little hands try to urge him back. He tells her he loves her. He tells her that he knows she's nervous but that he'll be gentle. But he knows as he stares down at her, that no amount of consolation is going to convince her to do this.

He kisses her forehead and then apologises for being a little more persistent than usual and then he moves off of her.

She leaves then.

She feels stupid. Just really, really stupid and she wishes Lily wasn't spending the night at her boyfriends because she wants her best friend. Her best friend always makes everything better.

Despite her foul mood, as she walks up the garden path to her home she feels nothing but comfort.

She's going to miss this house when the Summer's over.

She walks up the porch steps, smiling at the light that she knows Keith's left on for her.

She's both buzzing and terrified at the prospect of moving to New York. College is a big deal and she's not sure she's ready for it.

She loves Tree Hill and she loves her family.

She tip toes to her room, wary of making sure she doesn't wake the quiet house.

'Where have you been?'

She jumps. She'd half expected him to have been gone by the time she got home. But he wasn't. He was still here, in her room.

'What're you doing in my room?' She smiles but her frowning eyebrows are awaiting an answer.

'Waiting for you'

'Okay?' He's acting weird and her gaze is on the stiff drink in his hand.

'Your room is red'

She shuts the door quietly because she doesn't want to disturb Karen or Keith.

'It's good to know you can still tell your colours' She remarks. She stays standing next to the door.

'You took down the fairy pictures' It use to be lilac. There use to be fairy shit everywhere. She was an avid believer of the mystical world of fairies and witches, especially after her parents died. She immersed herself in a world of make believe. It was her way of keeping them close.

'I was seven then Luke'

He rises from her bed and moves across the room, running his hands over the shelves of records.

'You're into music now?'

'That's a bit of an understatement' She avoids his stare. She knows he'll approve. He's probably the sole reason why she took interest in music to begin with. She use to sneak into his room while he was doing his homework. For a while he'd pretend he hadn't noticed her but then the school work would go forgotten and he'd quiz her on the tunes sounding from his laptop. It was their special game.

His glass clinks against her desk as he sets it down heavily, his unsmiling face is unnerving.

'Where were you? Tric finished a couple of hours ago' He glances at his watch. It's two am. 'It's late, I bet Mum and Keith-'

'It was graduation, there's always a private after party and Karen and Keith knew about it'

'Where's Lily?'

She rolls her eyes because he's babying them and they're not little girls any more.

'She's staying at Michael's'

He nods. She wonders why it's okay for Lily to be out the entire night but her wandering in at 2am is a no no.

He's stopped fiddling with her array of records. He's looking at her now. He's not smiling, he's just staring and it's uncomfortable and she pushes herself back against the door.

It's silent. Silent. Silent.

'Have you been with him?' His voice is gruff, each word articulated sharply across the space between them.

She's confused. She opens and closes her mouth.

'That boy you were dancing with. Have you been with him?' He repeats and she doesn't answer. He's been drinking himself into a stupor for the last several hours. It was meant to calm him but it's only done the opposite. He's irrational and angry and frustrated.

He crosses the room, each purposeful stride completely obliterating the words that are trying to form in her mouth.

His hands slam down either side of her head and she flinches and the door shudders in it's frame.

'Did. You. Let. Him. Fuck. You?'

'Luke' She hisses in surprise of his crude language.

He doesn't speak to her like that. He's never spoken to her like that.

One hand leaves the door, fingers roughly migrate up her neck, a thumb tilts her chin up. He's shaking his head in disgust and that's when her small hands come up to push against his chest.

He doesn't move.

'Do you know how vulgar this makes you look?' He presses against the hicky that mares her skin and she grimaces.

She doesn't understand. She doesn't understand why he's so mad. She doesn't understand any of it and she's upset because she doesn't want him to think she's disgusting and she doesn't want to be vulgar.

'Nothing happened' She mutters because even though she knows she shouldn't have to explain herself she wants him to know.

He snickers and she knows he doesn't believe her, not for a second.

His breath hits her face with every exhale and the strong smell of spirits is intoxicating.

'I'm not stupid Peyton. I was a kid once too and I know exactly what that boys intentions were'

She tries to side step round him, tries to escape his intense glower but his hands close around her hips and hold her hostage against the door.

He's touching her and it's different to all his previous touches. He's not ruffling her hair and kissing her forehead. He's not telling her to quit being annoying and get out of his room. He's not calling her names and he's not teasing her for her long legs and golden ringlets.

She breathes in and out, in and out, in and out.

'I'm not a fucking kid Luke' She's pretty certain he knows that fact, considering his eyes that are trailing down her body. She's tingling from head to toe and her knees are wobbling and she realises that his firm grip is not only holding her prisoner but holding her up.

'Don't curse' He reprimands. She doesn't speak like that. She's his innocent little Bambi. 'Fuck' He curses himself and she wonders why it's alright for him to do so but not her. Hypocrite. 'You're most certainly not a kid' His forehead presses into the wood of the door, his lightly stubble covered cheek presses to hers.

She's frozen.

His smell, that deliriously wonderful Lucas scent invades her senses. It's comforting, it's that wonderful smell she craves when he's gone and drowns in when he's home.

His body is suddenly pressed completely against her and the vice like grip at her hips loosens and one hand migrates up her side and she can't breathe. Heat encases her.

'You let him fucking touch you?' He crows into her neck and she can't formulate words because her brain is trying to comprehend what is going on here. She's idolised Lucas Scott ever since she can remember and the older she's got the more extreme her admiration has become. From the time she's been old enough to take interest in the opposite sex her mind has always had her making comparisons to the man before her. She worships the ground he walks on and she's certain no one can live up to him but she's also always been aware of the crushing fact that he'd always only ever see her as his kid sister. Because that's what she was. For all intents and purposes she was meant to be his kid sister.

His palm whispers over her chest, so delicately that she convinces herself it was her imagination but then he repeats the action with more purpose, simultaneously turning his head into her neck.

He groans as her back instinctively arches into his touch.

He's drunk a lot in the last few hours. He's drunk a lot in a vain attempt to try and obliterate the thoughts that have consumed his mind during his last few visits home. Only it's not worked. It's only worked in freeing him from the guilt he holds for his ever so obscene imaginings.

Something inside of him has snapped. He is not the well conserved Lucas Scott she's always presented with. But she doesn't care.

She doesn't care at all. She knows now that _this _is what _it's _supposed to feel like. _This_ is why she couldn't give herself to Jake. Tonight was meant to be the night. She'd told herself to just do it already, but when it came to it she'd pushed him away, apologising and muttering that she just wasn't ready. She was ready though. She was more than ready, just not for Jake. There's a tight coil in the pit of her stomach and it tightens unbearably. She's ready for Lucas.

His hands are everywhere all at once. Grazing. Pushing. Pulling. Groping. His heavy breaths hit her neck and her head lolls back against the door.

She's clueless as to how this is happening. Why this is happening.

She jolts back into consciousness when his hand jerks down the zip from beneath her arm to her waist.

She swallows thickly and his head rises from it's hiding place to watch the material crumple up around her narrow waist.

She chews on her bottom lip. She's not wearing a bra and her pert little breasts greet the cold air. She's self conscious. She's never been so exposed to anyone before. She's not exactly well endowed and he's just staring and she wants to know what he's thinking.

But she doesn't dare speak. She doesn't dare to break the wonderful spell that's bewitching him.

He presses his forehead into hers and exhales heavily and his hot breath whispers across her lips, causing them to part. Craving. Wanting. Needing.

He doesn't kiss her though. Not on the lips. He kisses her cheek and makes a path down to her neck and then everything speeds up and he's pushing and pulling and touching and licking and sucking and her eyes roll back in her head.

His hands seek out whats beneath her dress. A palm smoothes up her leg, mapping out the path to her inner thigh.

His knees urge her feet to separate and she shudders when fingers finally slip beneath the elastic of her panties just a second later.

She gasps and wants to cry with elation because she loves Lucas Scott. Always has. Always will. He's her favourite person in the world. He's her friend. He's her protector. Only she never thought this would be possible.

'God you feel so fucking good' He husks into the crook of her neck.

She can't establish a coherent response. Her leg finds its way around his hip as she urgently tries to get closer.

He groans.

Her breathy moans merged with an exhale of his name are what brings him crashing down.

His guilt returns.

She's so close to release when his hand yanks free of her underwear.

He pushes her away and she stumbles as her legs have to cope with standing by themselves.

'Fuck what am I doing? I can't' He mutters to himself, his inner turmoil clear on his face. She was like his kid sister. This was wrong. So very, very wrong.

His hands scrape through his hair and then he sporadically turns his back to her.

She can't move. She stands there, her dress scrunched up around her waist, her torso completely on view to the world. Only she can't cover herself up. She's shaking for a number of reasons, primarily because hordes of rejection are crashing down on her.

He mutters a string of profanities under his breath and she just wants him to turn around and tell her it's alright because currently she feels as though she's done something wrong and she doesn't understand because how can something that felt so wonderful and right be wrong?

He storms over to her chest of draws. Despite the change of décor and rearrangement of furniture, her belongings are still kept in the same places. Her pyjama's are stored in the second draw down as they had been since she was six. He pulls out a long sleeved top and bottoms and then he stalks back over to her.

He refuses to look at her. Refuses the watery green eyes that are staring helplessly at him.

'Put some fucking clothes on' He thrusts the items at her and shoves her away from the exit and then he leaves.

* * *

><p>It's late morning. She sits down at the table. Lily is home and is as chirpy as ever. She's buttering three slices of toast and rambling away to her mother and father about the wonderful party the night before.<p>

Peyton sits down silently. She doesn't sit in her usual seat. Her usual seat is the spot beside where _he _is.

She's had a short fitful sleep. She's restless and nervous and completely confused.

'Morning sweetie' Karen sets a plate in front of her, urging her to eat something. 'Did you have fun last night too?'

She nods but it's anything but enthusiastic.

'What's up kido?' Keith enquires.

'Nothing' She assures with a feigned smile. 'I'm just tired'

'Sure?' He's unconvinced but he won't push her. He knows her. He knows she'll only come to him when she's ready.

She nods with finality, turning her attention to breakfast.

Lily isn't so easily fooled. Peyton can feel her eyes gazing at her curiously.

'Did something happen with Jake?' Lily asks her discreetly, her hand settling on Peyton's knee beneath the table.

'I'll talk about it later Lil' She brushes off.

'While you're both here, I think there's something Lucas wants to ask you both' Karen puts a jug of orange juice on the table and finally sits down with them all.

'Mum' He shakes his head with a sigh and Peyton's instantly interested.

'What?' Lily asks impatiently as ever. 'Are you moving back to Tree Hill?' She inquires excitedly.

'Let him speak Lily' Keith rolls his eyes, sometimes he wonders how she turned out so loud and bubbly.

'I can ask them later. They've just graduated, today's about them' Lucas mutters, willing the subject to be dropped.

'Nonsense. Luke wanted to ask you if you'd both like to be bridesmaids' Karen interferes and just like that it's out.

Peyton's eyes widen. Her knife clatters onto the table.

Karen's words hang in the air.

'Bridesmaids?' Lily clarifies.

The proud mother smiles right back.

'You're getting married?' Lily shrieks excitedly.

Peyton's face is anything but excited. Lucas dares to look at her for the first time.

She blinks.

He feels sick.

She blinks.

He feels so very sick. He wants to reach across the table and grab her hands.

She blinks.

The chair screeches against the hard wood floor. She's up and then she's gone.

* * *

><p>'Peyton wait. Slow down'<p>

She doesn't slow. She keeps running. She can't stop.

He catches up with her as she's nearing the river court.

'For gods sake stop' He grabs her arm and she stumbles as he brings her moving body to a halt.

'The answers no' She growls loudly.

'What?'

'I won't be a fucking bridesmaid at your wedding' She reels her arm out of his hold.

He swallows, trying to catch his breath.

He swaddles her in his arms, trapping her against his chest.

'I won't' She wriggles. 'I won't. I won't. I won't'

He relents and sets her free.

She trips over her feet in her haste to get some distance between them.

'You're getting married?' She laughs humourlessly. It's anything but funny. It's a joke.

'I was going to tell you' He says lamely.

'Tell me?' She snorts. 'When? In between the part where you were telling me I'm vulgar or when you were fucking me with your fingers?' She shouts irately.

His head darts around, looking for any spectators to their loud scene. They're alone.

'You know, considering I'm so _vulgar_, you sure found it hard to keep your hands to yourself' She scoffs madly.

He wants to hush her. He wants to put his hand over her mouth and stop the words tumbling from her lips.

'You know I don't think you're vulgar' He contends, with a shake of his head. 'That's not what I meant. What you were doing with him-'

'What I do with Jake is up to me. There's nothing disgusting about it. You're the fucking sick one. Not me. You're engaged, you're meant to be loyal to whoever the poor girl is'

His forehead creases under the strain of guilt. Guilt for being unfaithful. Guilt for taking advantage of the girl before him. She's just a kid. She's right. He's sick.

'Last night was an accident' He musters.

An accident. She doesn't want to be likened to an accident. Last night she realised where she wants to be, where she's meant to be. She'd never felt more safe in his arms but in this very moment she feels foolish and naive because she allowed him to do whatever he wanted, she'd have allowed him to do whatever he wanted. She didn't stop him. He stopped.

'I'd drank too much and you were in that fucking dress' His eyes clench shut. 'I'm sorry that I did that to you'

She's not. She doesn't want him to be sorry. She doesn't want him to regret it.

'I acted like an animal' He mutters. 'You're my sister' They both grimace at his words. 'I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted a thing to do with me again. But I'm going to make it up to you Bambi'

She's confused. Her heart is pounding in her chest. She doesn't understand. 24 hours ago everything was perfect between them.

'I'm going to come back at the end of Summer. I'll take you and Lily to college. I'll take you back to New York' He informs her. 'It'll be nice to have you both so close again'

Her eyes glaze over. Emotion takes over. She wants to break down and sob but she won't. No. She blinks and swallows back the lump in her throat and then she nods. Once. Curtly. And then she turns and she walks away and he doesn't go after her because there is nothing more to say.

* * *

><p>As planned, they both attend college in New York.<p>

She shares a room with Lily.

She feels bad for not telling her best friend what's gone on between her and Lucas. But Lucas isn't just a boy she can openly talk about, not in front of Lily. Lily is his flesh and blood, Lily is his sister and besides, he's getting married for Christ sake. What happened should never have happened.

She keeps up appearances. She has too. She loves Karen and Keith with all her heart. She loves them as a mother and father and she loves Lily as a sister. She won't hurt them by confiding in them.

They'd surely be horrified.

So she keeps up appearances.

They're in the same state now. It would be abnormal for her to decline an invitation to a Friday night dinner with both Lily and Lucas.

So she goes.

He spoils them. He takes them to a fancy restaurant and piles them with questions. He wants to be sure they're both okay. For a moment it's how it use to be. He calls her Bambi and he lectures them about security in their halls and drinking.

Lily rolls her eyes and makes out she's irritated but she loves that he's so protective. She hugs him round them neck when she gets up to go to the ladies room and announces that she loves him so.

Then there's just the two of them. It's not been just them for a long while. The silence is uneasy.

'So you're enjoying college?' He eventually asks, striving for some sense of normalcy. He hates what he's done to their relationship. He hates that she hates him.

'It's okay I suppose'

'You don't like it?' He leans closer to her because she's mumbling and avoiding his eyes and he's genuinely concerned. 'College isn't for everyone Peyt, you can leave'

Her stare skitters up from her hands. 'I don't not like it' She shrugs. 'I'm not like Lily. She's bubbly and fun and I'm...' She shrugs. 'I don't know what I am'

'You're perfect'

He holds her gaze for a long minute and then she blinks and is looking back at her hands.

'How's the wedding plans coming?'

He doesn't have time to answer because Lily's back. 'What did I miss?' She chirps as she sits back down. 'Is Peyton telling you about Julian?' She chants mischievously.

Peyton sighs and internally rolls her eyes. 'No Lil. We were talking about the Wedding' She gives her a meaningful look but Lucas is already inquiring as to what she's talking about.

'Julian, is a guy that lives on the floor above us in halls. He's got a thing for Peyton' She wriggles her eyebrows and Peyton wants to whack her. She so very nearly kicks her foot into her best friend's shin. 'What?' The bubbly brunette complains. 'Don't look at me like that. Luke tell her. What's wrong with me wanting you to be happy? You'll never find Mister right if you don't date around. I mean, look at me, I was with Karl, David, Max and Lewis before I found Michael' She rambles.

Lucas' brow furrows at her long winded sentence. There's one too many things he doesn't like. He doesn't like the thought of Peyton dating full stop. He doesn't like the fact that Lily's obviously dated around a hell of a lot more than he's aware of.

'You've been dating Michael since you were sixteen'

'Exactly, I went through four years of trial and error'

He shakes his head in exasperation. 'Okay. I don't want to talk about you and boys. End of conversation' He grimaces. 'Peyton is fine as she is. You don't need a boyfriend'

Lily snorts. 'Don't listen to him Peyt, if it was up to him we would abstain from sex until we were married. And I have news for you buddy, that boat sailed a long, long time ago'

Lucas gulps down the remaining drop of wine in his glass and places his serviette onto the table. 'It's time to go' He utters wearily. He's had enough of the conversation topic at hand.

He needs to leave before his erratically beating heart becomes life threatening.

He needs to leave before he says or does something he'll regret because the words are bubbling in the back of his throat.

She sees. Peyton sees the darkness that invades his eyes. She's transported back to that night that seems so long ago. She's taken back to her graduation and the night everything changed between them.

He's angry. Mad. He doesn't want to think about anyone touching her. She wasn't their's to touch. He's mad because she has a satisfied glint in her eyes. He's mad because he wants to grab her and shake her and shout at her but of course he won't.

'Luke are you okay?' Lily is confused by their hurried departure.

'Yes' He snaps. 'Lets just get you both home'

* * *

><p>He gets a hysterical call from Lily at one am one Friday night.<p>

_She's at a party. Some guys have taken Peyton upstairs. She thinks her drink was spiked. She can't get the door open._

He doesn't breathe for the entirety of the short drive over to their campus.

His heart pumps madly as he searches for Lily among the students.

The smell of spirits and weed hit him.

She's standing by herself at the top of a flight of stairs and she's been crying. His brotherly instinct is to take her into his arms and tell her everything's okay but he doesn't.

'Where?'

Lily points to a closed door and then he's running into it and knocking it off it's hinges.

He feels sick to the stomach.

She's laying on a bed. She's in her underwear. There's three of them and she's clearly unconscious. She's unconscious.

They're talking about her and touching her and this is wrong.

He acts without thinking. His body is out of his control. There're three of them and one of him but they're just kids. He's older. Stronger. Wiser.

He wants to keep hitting them until they can no longer breathe because they don't deserve life but he's smarter than that.

They don't fight back. They're scared of the repercussions of their actions. They know they've done wrong.

He yells at them. He tells them that they better pray she's alright.

Amidst it all, the campus police arrive. The boys are escorted away and paramedics are called.

Lily kneels beside the bed, her hands cradle Peyton's head.

He only properly functions again when the medics confirm that she'll be okay.

She's been drugged but she'll sleep it off.

She may suffer some sickness the next day and will likely have no recollection of the evening but she will be okay.

He hopes she has no memory of this. He doesn't want her to remember this at all.

He takes them back to their halls, he stays with them the entire night.

She wakes late the next day and he's exhausted because he hasn't slept at all.

He can finally relax.

Her brow creases with confusion as he strokes his hand over her forehead.

'Luke...why're you here?' Her voice is scratchy and he feels like he's just found her after years of being missing.

He holds her tightly to his chest and her eyes struggle to focus with the sudden jolt. She's suddenly so very aware of her spinning head and aching limbs. Her whole body is tense and her mouth is dry and she can't decide whether she's about to throw up or pass out altogether.

'You're so stupid. You're so fucking stupid'

If she wasn't so dizzy, she'd sure as hell be pulling away right now. She doesn't appreciate being told she's stupid. But that pretty much sums up what she's feeling right now. She can't remember what happened. She can't piece anything together. She remembers having dinner. She remembers going to a party. She remembers dancing. And then there's nothing. Blank.

'Don't you ever do that to me again' He's ranting in her ear, his voice a pained whisper. 'I was so fucking worried. I've been out of my mind. You've gotta be more careful'

'Luke' She mumbles. She can't hold herself upright yet, her body slouched in his arms. 'What happened?'

He lays her back against the mattress and pulls the covers up, securing them at her sides and then his hand is back at her forehead and she feels like she's eight years old again and he's tucking her into bed. 'Your drink was spiked'

Her brow raises and she shakes her head.

No one would do that.

'Yes. Some sick bastards dragged you upstairs'

Her eyes ask the question that his mouth is quick to answer. 'No. No, Lily got me there before they got that far' He grinds out.

She's disbelieving and still shaking her head at the whole situation. 'No one would do that to me'

'Peyton the world isn't filled with fucking rainbows and lolly pops. You have to look after yourself. You're an easy target-'

'What's that suppose to mean?' Despite her hazy state she manages a frown.

'You have no idea how fucking beautiful you really are do you?' He sighs. He lectures her but she stops listening soon after. All she can focus on is that he thinks she's beautiful.

He thinks she's beautiful.

* * *

><p>He's out for drinks with a few people from his publishers.<p>

He's shocked when he sees Lily Rose Scott dancing a few mere metres away, dancing in a way he never wants to see. He feels mentally scarred. But it gets worse because Peyton is here too and she's with someone.

He watches from afar for as long as he can stand.

Soon the guy she's with leaves her to get them some more drinks and she's left by herself.

He swoops in on his prey and she jumps in surprise.

'Luke'

He tries to act cool. He isn't.

'You shouldn't be in here'

Immediately she scowls.

'What're you going to do? Go and get the security guard to chuck your little sisters out?' She retorts hotly, standing to try and reach his height.

'I should. Your underage'

'Please' She scoffs. 'You were drinking at sixteen Lucas. I'm not a little kid'

He ignores her huffing and changes the subject 'Who is that boy?'

'That's Julian' Her frown diminishes to be replaced with a small smile and her feet shuffle and he knows she's tipsy.

'Right' He snaps 'You're coming with me'

'But-'

'Now' He doesn't let her argue. He drags her through the crowds of people and her uncooperative body doesn't phase him.

'Lucas you're acting insane' The air is cold as he tugs her out of the exit.

He doesn't speak and that only infuriates her more. He's too strong to fight so she stops struggling and lets him pull her down the street.

'Fine. Fine. Don't speak' She mutters. She notices his flashy car parked on the corner. He points his keys at it and the lights flash and then they're at the front passenger door and he's opening it and pushing her in and buckling her seatbelt. 'I am capable of doing this myself'

He still doesn't say anything, he tugs on the belt to assure it's secure and then he shuts the door and she crosses her arms and sulks.

She tries her hardest to not say another word as he pulls away from the curb but she can't stand the silence.

'Where're you taking me?'

'Back to mine'

She's relieved to hear his voice but now she's got a response it's her natural reaction to argue. 'I don't want to go there'

'Tough'

'You always treat me like a child'

'You are'... He groans. 'Sorry. I didn't mean that'

She turns her head away from him and looks out the window.

'After last week, I would have thought you'd be more careful'

'By that you mean stay inside and never go out'

'No just-'

'I'm not going to assume that every guy out there wants to spike my drink and rape me Luke. Julian's nice. He wouldn't hurt me' She plays with her phone as she speaks.

He doesn't respond. He doesn't need to. She can hear his teeth grinding together and see his knuckles turning white as he grips the steering wheel.

'Who're you texting?'

'Lily. She can't find me because somebody kidnapped me' She glowers up at him.

'What're you saying?'

'That I didn't feel so good and that I'll see her in the morning'

They're silent the rest of the way. But it's not awkward or tense. It's just easy. It's them.

As soon as he gets the door open to his apartment his hand is on her back ushering her inside.

It's dark.

She's never been here before and that alone feels strange. He has this place. This whole entire life that she's not a part of.

He flicks the light on and her eyes do a quick lap of the open space. It's bigger than she anticipated. It's expensive and it's totally him.

She knew he was doing well. That he worked so very hard. That his writing was getting more and more recognition and she was so extremely proud of every single word he wrote. But she hadn't realised he was doing this well.

Her tongue flicks across her bottom lip and then she sucks it into her mouth.

She can sense him behind her, she can feel his gaze.

'That skirt is far too short' It's the first words he's said since they've crossed the threshold into his apartment and it earns him a glower.

'I know a lot of guys that would beg to differ'

'Then you're hanging around with the wrong guys'

She rolls her eyes. 'I'm not fourteen any more, you can't tell me to go and change' She shrugs and then she feels her lips curling into a smirk because his stare hasn't left her legs. 'Like what you see?' She drawls and her seductive tone takes him completely off guard. His eyes jolt up to her face and she swallows at his lust filled gaze. He likes what he sees, she can tell that much. 'You brought me here for a reason didn't you?' She dares to ask.

'I brought you here so that jackass can't have his way with you'

'Because you... want to have your way with me?' Her voice is laced with uncertainty, everything he's said or done as of late has been confusing to her. He's so hot and cold that she's finding it hard to establish exactly what his intentions are.

'Fuck' His hands clench and unclench, clench and unclench and then he leans against the wall, rocking his forehead against the hard surface.

She keeps her distance.

'This is so fucked up' He's talking to himself, hitting the wall in frustration. 'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why do I want you so fucking bad?'

Her eyebrows raise. He wants her. He wants her.

He pushes away from the wall, his flushed face looking toward her.

His eyes are burning with conflicting emotions. Lust. Guilt. Hate. Love.

She's completely disorientated by it.

'I want you Peyton. I want you so fucking bad' He strides forward and her feet carry her backward.

She doesn't want to be toyed with.

'Stay where you fucking are' She begs.

He doesn't listen. 'Don't swear'

'You curse every other word'

'Yes. But I'm not you'

She soon runs out of floor and her back is against a door.

'Don't' She whimpers, eyes tightly shut and her arms out in front of her to keep him at bay. 'Not unless you have every intention of finishing what you start'

She expects her words to bring him back down to earth. She expects him to usher her to the door.

She doesn't expect his hands to cup her face.

She jumps and her eyes open wide.

'God, you're perfect. So fucking perfect' He stares at her intently.

Her heart thrums in her chest because he's not stopped. He's not telling her to leave. In his own way he's saying yes.

'I have, I have to have you'

He presses his forehead against hers and breathes deeply.

'Tell me to stop'

'I can't' She refuses. 'I don't want you to'

Anger drifts over his face for a brief second because he's trying to get his head straight but then her hand threads between his fingers and she's looking at him. 'Where's the bedroom?' Her voice is feeble, nervous.

He squeezes her digits gently and then pulls her away from the wall, guiding her down the hallway. He comes to a halt at the forth door and then they're standing in a darkened room.

They stand in silence. He's the first one to make a move. His hand reaches for her face again and his thumb maps out her cheek bones and drifts over her lips, her tongue flicks out to moisten them and then he officially stops thinking about right and wrong because its an endless cycle. He's functioning on want and need. And he wants to kiss her.

His nose brushes hers tentatively and then he gently sucks her bottom lip into his mouth.

She's shaking, not with fear but anticipation and his hands have to hold her steady.

She realises now that she's wanted his lips on her since she was old enough to take an interest in boys.

His tongue slips into her inviting mouth and she whimpers because she's never felt anything so amazing. Her sexual experience is pretty limited but she's done her fair share of making out and no one compares to this.

He knows what he's doing and she briefly wonders if she's completely inadequate in comparison.

But she has little time to fret over the matter because he's guiding her backward toward the bed and the next moment she's lying on her back.

The curtains are open and the glow from the full moon lights up his face as he settles above her.

'Okay?' He asks gruffly.

She's so small he fears he'll suffocate her with his weight.

'Mhm' A small smile finds its way to her lips because she's more than okay. She's wonderful.

She cranes her neck up and they kiss again. Only this time they don't stop.

She can't quite believe this is happening. She was beginning to think this would never happen for her. But it is and it feels so right, so very right. She's not even aware of what she's doing any longer. All she can do is feel.

He doesn't think she's quite aware of the effect she has on him but she soon is. Because he's nudged her legs apart with his knee and his hardness is pressed against her and she gasps. He smiles down at her and is certain she's the most beautiful girl alive with her cheeks painted in a light crimson blush.

He's completely shameless, he can't control himself. His tongue is back in her mouth and his hands undress them both with skill that she's astounded by because she feels boneless.

She's not sure when it happened but she's not wearing any clothes now and neither is he and she's never felt anything more delightful than having his hard, sculpted body on top of hers.

There's no nerves, no shyness.

She wants it all. She wants him.

He fumbles around over her shoulder on the night stand in search of protection but she doesn't notice. She doesn't notice because she's busy memorising every contour of his torso. She notices when he sits back. Her eyes watch him carefully slide the condom into place. She's mesmerized. And then their frantic pace slows completely.

His hand drifts up and down her thigh and then he pulls her knee up, over his hip with purpose. And then he's right _there. _

His face is in her neck, his mouth making his mark there.

One hand is in his hair and the other grips his shoulder because she knows it's time.

He moves gently but swiftly and she's thankful because she doesn't want to drag out the inevitable.

She gasps as he fills her completely.

It hurts.

Her eyes screw closed.

It's not horribly unpleasant just uncomfortable.

'Peyton' He's panicked. Because realisation is quick to dawn.

She's not done this before.

She's not done this before.

She's not done this before.

'I'm okay' She whispers.

He's trying to think coherently 'You're-'

'I'm okay, I promise' Her legs tighten around him in her attempt to prove so and he groans.

He's never felt anything so wonderful and he's finding it hard to be controlled because right now he needs to take things slow, for her, but his body disagrees.

He strokes her hair away from her face and kisses away the tear that's settled on her cheek.

'We can stop' He whispers.

'No' She grips his shoulders. 'You promised you'd finish what you started' She exhales breathily, arching her back off the bed.

It doesn't hurt any longer. She wants something but she doesn't quite no what so she lets her body do the talking.

She rocks and he moves with her, a hand at her hip to guide her.

And it doesn't just not hurt any longer. It feels good. Better than good. Amazing good. Mind blowing good.

He pushes her legs higher and moves in a way that has her whimpering and he assumes he's harming her.

'Sorry' He breathes.

She bites her lip and smiles. 'Do that again'

He does.

Again. Again. Again.

And she can't see straight and he's drowning in ecstasy.

And she never ever wants this to end.

Inevitably it does.

They finish together though. His forehead pressed to hers. Their breaths mingled. As one.

And it is perfect. Couldn't be any more perfect.

They're both silent. Their heavy breathes the only thing to be heard as their hearts return to their normal pace.

'Why didn't you tell me?' He asks after a while.

She frowns up at the ceiling. She knows what he's referring to. 'Because...it's a complete turn off' She trails off self consciously.

'It's not'

'What, so if I'd told you I'd never done it before' She blurts. 'That I was a virgin, you would've been cool to continue?'

He considers her perspective. He guesses she's right. He probably would have halted the proceedings but only because he didn't want to hurt her. He hadn't wanted to hurt her.

'Besides, why would you even assume I wasn't? It's not as though I've ever had a proper relationship'

'Well Lily -'

'I'm not Lily, Luke'

'So you really hadn't...not ever?'

'Nope. That's generally what virgin means'

He's silent for a few minutes. He's trying to digest what they've just done, what he's just done but all he can focus on is the fact that there's a very naked girl laying beside him. Not just any girl, his Bambi gril, his Peyton and he's just stolen her innocence.

'Are you okay?' He shifts onto his side and hesitantly moves closer beneath the bed sheets and he places his palm on her creamy stomach.

She nods.

'Are you sure? You don't...hurt?'

She warily meets his concerned eyes. 'A little bit tender I guess but that's normal right?'

He rubs soothing circles on her lower tummy and kisses her shoulder. 'Yeah...I'm sorry'

'Why?'

'I don't like that you're hurting because of me'

'I'm not hurting. Besides you've hurt me worse before' She mutters and he cringes because those four words make him feel like utter shit. 'Sorry' She mumbles after. 'That was uncalled for. You were being sweet and...' She shakes her head. 'I'm sorry. I should be thanking you'

He scoffs. 'Darling, you definitely shouldn't be thanking the guy that just dragged you into his bed and stolen your innocence'

She curls onto her side and shuffles closer and his arms naturally find their way around her.

'I...I couldn't do it with anyone else'

He tilts her face up.

'It's not like I haven't had the opportunity to, it's just, whenever it comes to it, it just doesn't feel right but with you I, I'm not even thinking. It's just, instinct or something' She closes her eyes and shakes her head. 'I'm rambling nonsense aren't I?'

'No' He kisses her forehead. 'Not at all baby'

They fall asleep and she's never felt more wonderful.

She doesn't awake with the same sense of contentment.

She's laying on her front and it takes her a moment to realise where she is.

Her eyes focus on the photo frame beside the bed and in an instant her world plummets.

Its him, her Lucas, with some girl. But she's not just some girl, she's his fiancee.

She feels sick.

Her sleepy eyes flutter round the room. Perfume sits on the chest of draws, necklaces hang over the corner of the mirror. The wardrobe's open and she can she the floaty fabric of dresses.

She's laying in another woman's spot and she feels revoltingly sick.

She looks over her shoulder. He's still fast asleep and despite her urge to snuggle back into his arms she won't.

She carefully moves his hand off of her back and slides from the warmth of the bed. She fumbles around, finding her discarded clothes around the room. She should never have been here. She dresses and then she leaves.

* * *

><p>It's Christmas and they're all back in Tree Hill.<p>

It's the first time they've seen each other since that night.

It's awkward and tense.

They barely speak a word and then one night it all kicks off.

Lily is telling Keith and Karen about a trip they have planned.

Lucas comments that he doesn't think it's a good idea and then they're having a full blown argument and she's not sure what its even about but she's angry and then she's storming out of the house and he's hot on her tail, grabbing her arm to stop her escape.

'Lucas' Keith reprimands from behind them. 'Let her go'

'No. I want to talk' He continues to drag her down the porch steps.

'Well you can talk to her right here' Keith follows.

Lucas stops with an angry huff.

'Keith. I know you've got to say your bit but you're not my father and you're not her father-'

'Maybe he's not biologically but he's as good as' Peyton pipes up.

Keith smiles at her but his concerned eyes soon focus back on his nephew. 'Lucas you're angry and I don't understand what's going on here so why don't you just calm down and explain' He urges.

Neither Lucas nor Peyton answer and his gaze flits between the pair. 'What exactly is going on between you two?'

'Nothing' Peyton grumbles.

'Well you could've fooled me. You two are usually inseparable but this Christmas all you've done is avoid each other. Has something happened that I need to know about?'

Peyton's face is indignant, because she knows he's implying that she's the one that's done something wrong. She's the younger one. She's in college while Lucas is a working man. It's always her that's going to be interrogated. It's not fair but it's the way it is. She's got a few years left of being babied. She wants to be left to sort out her own mistakes without her guardian's interference but they _love_ her and that's not going to happen and she won't resent their love for one second.

'No. There's nothing you need to know' Lucas groans. 'I'd just like to speak to her privately' Keith doesn't budge under his expectant gaze. 'Keith come on!'

'Stop manhandling her' His voice is strict, it's the voice of a father and his words are an order.

Lucas reluctantly lets her go and she rubs her arms dramatically.

'You're not going to Vegas' He announces, resigning to the fact that they've got an audience.

'Like hell I'm not. Why is it okay for Lily to go but not me?'

'Because Lily is going with Michael' He's known the boy for three years now and despite his initial want to beat him up, he's now thankful that someone's watching out for her when he's not there to do so.

'That's bullshit'

Keith watches them argue, his head shifting left to right. Left to right.

'You're not going'

'Yes I am'

'Lucas you can't tell her what she can and can't do' Keith eventually intervenes. 'She's an adult, she's responsible-'

Lucas scoffs. 'Yeah really responsible. So responsible that she get's her drink spiked by some sick bastards who nearly fucking raped her!' He shouts irately.

They all hear the gasp from the porch steps and Peyton wants to die a little bit when she takes in Karen's panicked face. She also really wants to kill Lucas.

'Is that true?' Keith quizzes. She's never seen him look so serious.

She nods once and then Karen is down the three steps and hugging her. 'Baby why didn't you tell us? When did this happen? Are you okay?'

'I'm fine, I'm really fine. Honestly. Nothing happened. Lucas stopped them. It was stupid. He's right, I was irresponsible that night but I've learnt my lesson and I can't let something like that stop me from living my life'

'You should have called us. You should have come home' Karen beseeches. 'We're here for you to come to'

'I know that' Peyton whispers tearfully. She sinks into Karen's embrace and lets herself cry but she's not crying for the horrible incident that they're discussing. She's crying for the horrible mess that her and Lucas have become.

* * *

><p>She slides into the dress.<p>

She feels like she's suffocating and it's not even done up yet.

She imagines Karen's pleading face in her mind and wills herself to just breathe.

The silk is chocolatey and Lindsey seems to think she looks quite delectable but Peyton feels nothing of the sort.

She feels dirty and awkward as the older girl helps her with all the butterfly clasps.

'Lindsey?'

She stiffens and prays that she's just imagined his voice. No such luck.

He's right there, standing in the doorway wearing a sexy suit and she wants to be in his arms.

She's wishing the floor would swallow her whole. She doesn't want to see him. She doesn't want him to see her in this bridesmaid dress and she especially doesn't want to see him with her.

He's surprised to see her too. They don't speak anymore. Lindsey explains what's going on and he tells her that he thought he'd come home for lunch.

She smiles and tells him all three of them could eat together because she's a good fiancee and she wants to get to know Peyton because Peyton means so much to him because Peyton is his sister.

Peyton is quick to decline though. She lies. She has a lecture.

He knows when she's lying. Her eyes can't lie. Not to him.

The phone rings. It's for Lindsey. She asks Lucas to help while she takes the call.

Then it's just the both of them.

'You can stay... for lunch you know' He walks across the room and slides up behind her.

'I've got a lecture'

'No you haven't' His hands resume what Lindsey's had started only it's completely different.

She can't breathe but for a completely different reason. Her skin tingles from head to toe. He pulls the two pieces of material together and smoothly joins the clasps. The silk constricts around her small frame.

'No I haven't' She agrees. 'But I don't think I could stomach any food right now'

He hooks the last clasp but his hands don't leave. They slide down her back and grip her hips to him gently and she gasps loudly.

'This dress is horrible' He declares. 'And yet you manage to look fucking beautiful in it'

She steps away from him hastily. 'Lucas'

'What?'

She shakes her head. 'You know what' She's pissed because this is without a doubt the most hideous situation she's ever been in. She's mad at him and she's mad at herself. 'You're getting _married _Luke, so you have absolutely no right to look at me that way or talk to me that way' She hisses furiously.

He rubs the back of his neck, his eyes darting to the hallway. He's wary of Lindsey appearing at any given second.

'I'm sorry' He utters. 'I just want us to go back to being how we were before'

'Before. Before you fucked me?' She whispers loudly. 'That can't happen' She speaks normally now. 'I can't. I'm here, only because Karen begged me to do this. She doesn't understand why we're no longer speaking and I'm not about to explain. I'm not doing this for you or, or _Lindsey_. I'm doing it for Karen' She takes another step back. 'Nothing's changed between us Lucas' She whispers. Only it's not true. Everything has changed. She's aching. From head to toe. She's angry and she hates him so much, she hates him because she really loves him and that hurts more than anything. Because with each passing day she feels a little emptier inside. Empty. Empty. Empty.

* * *

><p>'Hey'<p>

He drops his bags in the hall and stares at her.

She's not meant to be here.

It's a long moment later before he responds.

'Hi'

'You look like you've seen a ghost' she tries a polite smile.

He's not meant to be here.

'I, I wasn't expecting you to be here- Mum said you were staying in New York for Easter'

'I was going to, last minute change of plans. I just assumed you'd be with Lindsey' She wouldn't have come if she'd known. This is what its turned into. Their playing a sick game of hide and go seek. Only they've both lost this round.

'She went to her sisters in Montreal'

She nods.

It's silent for a moment.

She wants to cry. It's been three months since she's been in the same room as him and his presence alone makes her feel a little more alive. 'How's the wedding plans going. Not long now till the big day'

He frowns because anytime the wedding is mentioned he feels sick.

He swallows. He doesn't answer her question. 'Where's everyone else?'

'Lily and Michael have gone down to the river court and Karen and Keith are food shopping'

'We're alone?'

'Completely alone'

They stay standing there. Frozen in time. Just staring. And then something snaps. It's been so long since they've seen each other and its overwhelming. The anger and animosity is gone. They both move at exactly the same moment. They need to touch each other. It hurts when they're not together and now they're both in the same room it's unavoidable. In less than a second she's in his arms and he's kissing her fiercely and within moments they're stumbling their way into her room and it's all so fast and frantic.

Clothes are tugged at, only the necessary items being discarded to the floor. They need to be as physically close as possible. They need to reaffirm that the other is real.

Its not like last time. He's not gentle or slow. It's rough and desperate and completely satisfying.

And its only when they're left in a sweaty tangle of limbs that their lack of self control finally sinks in.

He's still inside her, breathing heavily in her ear when she speaks. Her voice is hoarse.

'Don't marry her'

His head raises and he doesn't answer.

'You can't'

He shifts off of her and drops into the space beside her.

Her eyes water.

'The Wedding's in two weeks' He breathes.

It's not the response she's waiting for. She wants him to declare that he'll finish it, that he loves her because she loves him. She really fucking loves him.

'We can't realistically be together Peyton. You're just a-'

'I'm not a fucking child' She sits upright and tugs her shirt back up her arms, similtaneiously getting up.

Her legs are wobbly but she forces them into action.

'I'm not a fucking child, I don't get it. What do you want? Is this just sex to you? Is that all I am?'

She wipes at her eyes and then shakes her head as he opens his mouth to argue. 'Don't even answer. I don't want to know' She has to escape, she storms out of her confined room and then quite literally slams into Keith and he instinctively grabs her arms to stop her from ending up on the floor.

He smiles and is about to tease her for still being his clumsy little girl that's away with the fairies, only he doesn't because he's just noticed her bloodshot eyes and tear stained face.

She takes a little step back, completely mortified by the run in. She just wants to escape. She can feel his eyes scanning her up and down in that innate fatherly manner, he's checking for wounds, searching out the cause for her upset.

He notes her dishevelled appearance.

Her shirt is gaping open and the few buttons that are done up are buttoned wrong. Her little denim skirt is twisted round her waist and her tights have one very large unmissable ladder running down her right leg.

She's his daughter, he's seen her as his own since the day she was placed in his and his wife's care. He treats her as his own, loves her as his own and right now he's angry. He's angry because it doesn't take a genius to figure out what she's just been doing and no father wants to find out that his baby is having sex. He wasn't naive, all his children were old enough to be making those kind of decisions. Lily was in a relationship and he had no doubt that she was sleeping with her boyfriend but she did well to hide it from him for which he was so grateful.

Peyton wasn't Lily either. Lily was a hell of a lot tougher than her sister, not to say Peyton wasn't strong. She just had a vulnerability to her. She was troubled and brooding and more fragile than she'd ever let on.

Keith's smile had vanished some thirty seconds ago and now his hard stare is behind her.

He's suddenly aware of the shuffling of feet coming from inside her room. He wants to strangle whoever has so much as touched her. He wants to know why she's been crying because right now his mind is reeling off horrible scenarios that he's praying aren't true.

Her bedroom door that she'd sprang from not even a minute ago suddenly opens once more and Keith reels back at the sight of the boy he's raised as his own.

His eyes literally dart between them both.

Peyton watches as their activities are quick to dawn in his confused brown eyes and she can't be there. She can't. So she makes a heady escape.

'Peyton' Lucas pleads her not to run but all he gets in answer is the front door slamming and then he's trying to go after her but Keith has come back from his paralysed state and isn't so eager for his departure.

'No you don't' He grabs Lucas' arm.

'Keith I know what this looks like and I'll explain but I need to go after her-'

'You know what this looks like?' Keith cries in disbelief, his smile not one of happiness. 'You'll explain. You'll explain right now'

'I need to go-'

'No Lucas. Is it...is it what it looks like?' He shakes his head and mutters the words. He's baffled. Confused. Furious.

Lucas doesn't answer. He doesn't know what to say. This isn't the most idealistic situation. He can barely understand what's going on between them himself, without explaining what it is to someone else.

'Well? You said you could explain. I'm waiting' Keith grows impatient. 'Please tell me that I've completely misinterpreted the situation'

Still Lucas is mute.

Keith stares at him, his silence is answer enough. 'You're engaged Luke' Keith utters. 'She's your sister'

Lucas grimaces. 'No. No she's not my fucking sister' He shakes his head adamantly because that's why this is so hard for him to get his head round, because he's been taught that she's his sister. She's not though. They don't share the same blood. They're not in any way related.

'How long?' Keith turns around and leans against the hall table, trying to steady himself.

'What?'

'How long have you, you been' He swallows. 'Sleeping together?'

'That's not important'

'Yes. Yes it is'

'Graduation' Lucas mumbles.

Keith turns to face him. 'What?'

'Something happened the night of her graduation'

'She was barely out of high school. That was the day you told your mother and me you were going to be getting married?' His dismay is evident.

'Look Keith, I didn't mean for this-'

'You're meant to be looking out for her-'

'I am!'

'How? How exactly?'

'I wouldn't let anyone harm her' He exclaims.

'No? Why was she crying?'

And like that, it hits him. He loves Peyton. He doesn't just love her like a kid sister. He's in love with her and all he's done is hurt her.

He's the reason for her tears.

'Because of me' He mutters to himself.

Keith watches him, his frown softens because he sees Lucas' realisation.

He sees then and there that this isn't some trivial fling. This is real.

This is about love.

* * *

><p>'Why didn't you tell me?' Lily wonders. She's standing in the doorway.<p>

Peyton jumps. She stops drawing. She doesn't like sketching with someone peering over her shoulder.

Lily watches her hurriedly shut her sketchbook and shuffle onto her knees.

'You made me jump'

Lily doesn't say anything. She walks into her best friend's room and shuts the door behind her only it doesn't feel the same as it once had. She feels like she's in a strangers room. She feels like she doesn't know the girl before her. 'Why didn't you tell me?' She asks again, only this time it's more of a demand.

Peyton brushes a lock behind her ear and exhales heavily.

'You _are_ his brother. It would've been weird'

'It is weird' Lily shakes her head. She's still struggling to get her head round it. 'I mean isn't he like your brother too?'

It's out. Their secret is no more.

'No. I, I wish everyone would stop saying that. Anyway it doesn't matter because it's over. If Keith hadn't found out no one would have ever known because it doesn't mean anything. It was a mistake'

'You may have been keeping a thousand secrets from your best friend for the last year and a half but she can still read you. It didn't not mean anything'

'Don't tell me how I feel Lily'

'P you wouldn't give it up for Jake, he was like the most perfect guy. You were saving yourself for the _right_ guy. You wouldn't have just slept with someone and then classified it as a one night stand or a fling or it not meaning anything. That's me. I could do that. You, you're far too sentimental'

Peyton shakes her head, despite the truth to Lily's statement.

'You love him don't you?'

'Of course. I love him like you love him'

'No. No you don't because that would mean you love him like a brother and you've already pointed out that he's not your brother' Lily rambles. 'You're in love with him aren't you?'

She swallows. 'It doesn't matter Lily' She whispers. 'At the end of the day he's getting married'

'It matters'

* * *

><p>He ends it.<p>

He tells her everything. Lindsey isn't very understanding. Apparently he's a sick paedophile and that's exactly what she makes him feel like.

There's no wedding now.

Only he doesn't feel aggrieved with a broken heart as he knows he should.

He feels free.

He's no longer trapped.

But despite that he's still angry.

He's no longer trapped with someone he now knows he never loved but in a sense he is still trapped.

He knows who he wants only he won't allow himself to have her.

He bursts into Lily's room. 'I've finished it' He blurts. 'There is no Wedding'

Her eyes widen. 'No Wedding?'

He's angry and she's not sure if he's mad at her.

'I told Lindsey everything' He elaborates. 'Not surprisingly, she wasn't very understanding. Apparently I'm a sick paedophile' He grimaces. 'And that's exactly what I feel like'

She cringes too, because he's not that. He could never be that. 'Lucas Peyton's not a little girl. You didn't force her to do anything-'

'She's meant to be like my kid sister!'

'Only she's not. She's never been your sister'

He nods. She's not. 'I know, she, she's always been there, she's always been in my life. I've always thought of her as my sister, I introduce her to people as my sister'

She bites her lip. 'Well...how about, how about you stop introducing her as your sister' She crosses her arms over her chest. This whole situation has been weird for her to get her head round. But she knows them both, she knows them both so well and after adjusting to the prospect of her two favourite people being together she just knows that this is right. 'Are you so upset because you didn't want to break it off with Lindsey?'

His brow crumples. 'No' He should be. 'I didn't have to tell Lindsey. I know Peyton wouldn't have told anyone. I could have lied and married Lindsey and she'd have never known about what happened between us'

'Well...why didn't you?' Lily asks.

'Because!' He exclaims, frustration clear on his face. 'Because Peyton is all I think about' He shouts wildly. 'I've told myself over and over that it's just an infatuation but the last thing _this _could be likened to is an infatuation. I've been mad at her, I've been fucking horrible to her because she goes around wearing shit that drives me crazy, saying stuff that makes me crazy but while I was busy taking it all out on her I failed to see that the whole reasoning for me being such an ass is because somewhere along the line I've fallen in love with her and I know it's not right. I know it's wrong and maybe that's why I've tried so hard to fight it but I'm not strong enough, I'm not. I can't fight it anymore'

'What're you going to do?'

'What I should've done a long time ago'

Lily wants to smile and throw her arms around him but she waits for him to carry on.

'I'm going to go away'

That's the last thing she's expecting to hear and she's confused. 'What?'

'I have to go away. I have to stop fucking up her life. She's eighteen-'

'Nineteen'

'Just. She should be enjoying college. I have to get out of her life so she can live hers'

'Luke-'

'It's what I have to do Lily'

She knows there's no point in arguing. He's made his mind up and sure enough a week later he's declared that he's taking some time off to go travelling.

Two weeks later he's gone.

* * *

><p>It's Lily's wedding day.<p>

She's twenty two and Lucas can't quite get his head round it. She's his baby sister and she's getting married.

Surely he's meant to be doing that first.

He's terribly late but he makes it in time. He's standing near the back and Lily passes him first and her eyes light up because she'd thought he was going to miss it. She halts her walk to quickly kiss his cheek. He tells her she looks beautiful and Keith pats his back and then he resumes walking his daughter down the aisle. Lucas smiles proudly and his eyes follow them and then he sees her.

She's already standing at the front.

She's doning a teal coloured dress that fits her body perfectly.

Her hair is shorter than she use to have it and it's pinned back with flowers on one side.

He realises now that his memory didn't do her justice. Her eyes are greener and her lips pinker and he's sure her legs are longer.

She's different and yet completely the same all at once.

She's older. She's twenty two. Three years have past since he was last in a room with her.

He's seen her in the photos that have accumulated on his uncle and mother's mantel piece. He overhears her name being mentioned as his sister relays stories to her parents. But no one ever directly mentions her to him.

She was quick to start spending holidays with friends she'd made at college. She only went home to Tree Hill when she knew he wasn't there and he only went back there when his mother threatened his life for staying away so long.

Only today is different.

They can't avoid each other for this day. They just cannot not be there.

This is bigger than them. This is about Lily.

The wedding is beautiful but it's done and finished in a blink of an eye.

Lily is married. And everyone is smiling and laughing and congratulating.

He's in a world of his own. He greets family and friends that he's not seen in too long and he's polite and welcoming but he's not there. Not there mentally. He's somewhere else entirely.

They're all at the reception now and the moment he's been avoiding finally happens.

She's here with someone and his stomach sinks.

He wants to run out and never come back.

But he doesn't.

They're seated beside each other and he knows it's intentional and he wants to glower at his sister but he won't because this is her day.

'Hi' She's the first to speak and her voice sends him jarring from his dazed state. He'd forgotten how it sounded.

Lily tries to act as though everything is normal here, but she's flustered and anxious because it's hard. So very hard when your two favourite people dislike each other so much.

'Hey'

He pulls out her chair before the man beside her can do so. She doesn't sit. She leans forward and kisses his cheek and her arms go round him and she embraces him because she's missed him. She's missed everything. She inhales and he smells the same. Exactly the same and a lump forms in her throat but she swallows and blinks and paints a bright smile on her face.

'It's good to see you Luke' She sits down and they both pretend they don't see Karen and Keith's looks from across the table. The loving parents are both aching for their children to be happy.

They spend the evening pretending that they're friends that haven't seen each other for a long, long while.

And it works. It's normal. It's as though no time has gone at all.

But it ends. Inevitably so. It ends when he asks her to dance.

It's all fine until the music slows and they awkwardly try to slow dance but she can't handle the closeness. She can't handle it at all.

'I'm sorry' She shakes her head and departs and the whole reception pretends not to notice but all eyes are on Lucas as he follows her.

She stops running when she reaches the stretch of balcony off of the grand hall.

'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked you to dance' He breathes.

She doesn't speak. She blinks into the cold night air, willing the chill to stop the tears from spilling over her eye lashes.

He touches her back.

She flinches and he steps back.

'I shouldn't have come here today'

'Of course you should' She snaps. 'It's your sister's wedding day'

'Yes, but I'm hurting you by being here'

She pushes her tongue to the roof of her mouth. She's angry but she doesn't dare face to look at him because she knows she'll yell and she doesn't want to get in a fight. She wants to be done with Lucas Scott but she never will. She knows that much.

'It's good to see you. You, you look good. Amazing in fact. I've missed you'

She scoffs. 'Well it was your choice not to see me. You're the one that went MIA'

He frowns. 'Peyton you stopped coming to Tree Hill' He knows that for a fact.

'You just left. You left because of me. No goodbye. No nothing. You left because you wanted away from me. I stayed away because that's what you wanted' Her voice is hysterical. She's done pretending they're old friends that haven't seen each other in too long. He's never been her friend.

'Peyton-'

'I wouldn't make you suffer through Christmases and Thanks giving with me there ruining it for you. I wasn't about to make Karen and Keith choose between their own flesh and blood and me'

'I left for you'

'For me? Lucas you just upped and went without a word to me. I wanted to come after you but you didn't tell anyone where you were going and then by the time you were back and you moved to LA I'd got the message loud and clear. You didn't want anything to do with me.' Her bottom lip trembled because she still hadn't come to terms with that fact. He didn't want her.

'You were a kid. You needed time to grow. To know what you wanted. I didn't tell you because you deserved to make those decis-'

'I was not a kid and all I wanted was you' She blurts.

He freezes. This conversation is one they'd needed three years ago. It's too late now. He hasn't forgotten the man she came here with tonight. She's with someone. She's not his. Only he can't seem to accept that because she'll always feel like his. And although he has absolutely no right, he's angry with her, furious for letting someone else touch her.

'Who is he?'

She follows his raging eyes through the open doors. He's inside pretending to be involved in a conversation but his eyes are on them. Eyes of concern, worrying after her.

'Julian'

He squints because it doesn't look like the same kid that had gone to college with her. He's grown up. He's confident and hansom and judging by his suit, successful.

'He's an art director' She answers his silent question.

'How long have you been together?'

She falters. 'We're just friends' She answers wearily.

He swallows. He doesn't think he's ever felt such relief.

'You're happy?'

She looks over to Julian again and feels a pang of guilt because he's everything she could ever want and he's in love with her and he's helped her too many times to count only she can't commit herself to him. They were together but she'd ended it because it's unfair to pretend and that's all she was doing. She wasn't in love with Julian.

'You're happy?' He repeats.

'Sometimes' She can't lie to him.

Sometimes isn't good enough and yet Lucas is happy. Happy because she's looking at him with longing, not Julian.

'I didn't leave because I didn't want you Peyton. I left because I wanted to stop hurting you' He says strongly. He wishes she'd known that.

She blinks. Her vision is blurry and all the heart ache over the man before her is ever present.

'You deserve the best and your happiness is all I want. I didn't want to get in the way of that' He shakes his head. 'Maybe I've been blind'

She nods her head once. She may have been young and naive and stupid at times but one thing she never doubted was her feelings and all he did was run away from them.

'I miss you' She whispers suddenly. 'God, I miss you everyday Luke. Everyday'

'Peyton' He cups her cheeks almost painfully because her confession is like music to his ears. He's at breaking point. He's spent the last three years trying to live without her. He's existed but he's not lived, not really.

'You are my happiness' She whispers. 'You're everything'

She blinks and swallows.

'I want to be with you. Properly. No fucking about' He says desperately.

One hand slides up her back and into her hair. She smiles softly and then he kisses her; their lips meet again. After so long they meet again. Again and again.

It's as though there is nothing before this—not years of childhood, of being siblings, not the crazy time in between her graduation and when he left. Not even the three years of separation. It's like this was always it. _This_ was always where they'd end up, regardless of how.

None of the words spoken to each other in the past matter.

He parts his lips and his tongue slides over her bottom lip and they both know.

There is nothing; will be nothing more, nothing but him and her. It's undeniable, unstoppable and completely mind boggling. It's them and it's meant to be this way.

They're meant to be together.

Because even when they're not together they _are together_. In mind.

'I love you' He exhales.

And she knows. It's there stupid love for each other that sent them so far away from one another. He wanted to protect her. He wanted the best for her. She wanted him. But she stopped chasing because she didn't think he wanted her and his happiness means more to her.

'I love you' She smiles back.

It's taken them so long to get here but they're here. And it's forever.

There's no guilt over their relationship. They're not brother and sister. They're lovers and it's right.

Karen and Keith watch their son and daughter reunite and they're not disapproving; it doesn't feel strange to watch son and daughter kiss. They know it's right. They can see it's right. Ever since she was three years old, they've been connected by something deeper than blood. Their souls are entwined. It's always been there. He's always had this amazing need to protect her and they know this has always been on the cards. Written in the stars. Destined.

She's Peyton Sawyer Scott for nineteen years.

She's twenty five and he's thirty three when he officially asks her to marry him one day.

She drops the Sawyer.

She becomes just Peyton Scott.

She's not his sister, she's what she's always wanted to be. She's his wife.


End file.
